Well, I have been back to smoking. I dont know why. I wanna stop. I can feel my heart beat hard. As in every beat is hard and you can almost see the beat impacts on my ribs and my skin. I dont know why I cant just say no. I need to be strong. I got no one else to blame but myself. Gosh~ What have I just put myself into?
I got a new game installed onto my lappy, Split Second. Addictive Driving Frigging Awesome High Graphic Game.
This is interesting news. I have group in my class. A project group to be precise. And there is this 19 year old guy. See - we are close, yes, you can say that - he is older than me and yeah he has a year experience more than me. But when there is group meetings or disscussion, he is demanding. Not saying that is bad, coz I cant. Men have big EGO problems. But when there is a disagreement between just him alone and the rest of us, he will be like one fucked pussy. And NO I dont hate you nor your attitude. I just hate your this part of your attitude. See, you all choose me as the group leader for this module. And yes, I have leadership background. I dont mind being the leader. If I was incaple of leading, can you please atleast hint me? You ALWAYS tell me of how to do my job. Im not a retard to not know what my job is. I will admit, i make decisions slow. But if this is hindering the group's success, I will stop leading you guys. Coz in other words, you are saying that Im a fucked up leader. Thats a better way than all of your sacarsm. This isnt Secondary school project. If you all see that I cant lead, I can jolly well step off that position. Ill be happy to do so.
I got nothing else. I got no more mood.